Wedding Invitation Wording Etiquette
Part of the wedding planning and invitation design process involves choosing the ideal wording that resonates with your unique style and speaks to the hearts of your cherished guests. As your wedding stationery designer and self-professed grammar nut, I'm here to guide you through this journey, ensuring your invitations reflect the style of your wedding and of your unique love.
Your invitation should include the following, and I will go into detail about the wording options for each:
Hosts' names
Invitation request
Couple's names
Date and time
Venue details
Reception information
Host Line
The first line of the invitation is usually reserved for the hosts of the wedding, acknowledging who is paying for the wedding. In the past, it was customary for the bride's parents to take on the role of hosts, and listing their names on the invitation was a gesture of gratitude for their generosity. These days, there are many scenarios that affect the wording of the host line: both sets of parents are hosting the wedding, one or more parents are deceased but the couple wishes to acknowledge them, scenarios involving separated/remarried parents, the couple and their families are hosting together, or the couple is financing the wedding themselves, among many scenarios. In addition to the scenarios, the level of formality you are going for also determines the wording.
If the married parents of the bride are hosting:
Mr. and Mrs. John Paul Smith
request the pleasure of your company…
Traditionally, middle names are included in the host names, but you can forgo the middle names for a less formal wedding.
If both sets of married parents are hosting:
Mr. and Mrs. John Paul Smith
along with Mr. and Mrs. James David Jones
request the pleasure of your company…
Or you can omit the host names and opt for the less wordy “Together with their parents”
If the divorced parents of the bride are hosting:
Mrs. Elizabeth Marie Williams
and
Mr. John Paul Smith
request the pleasure of your company…
Keep the names on separate lines for divorced/separated parents, and list the mother first.
If the both sets of parents are hosting but one set is divorced:
Mrs. Elizabeth Marie Williams
and
Mr. John Paul Smith
along with Mr. and Mrs. James David Jones
request the pleasure of your company…
If the hosts are spouses with different last names:
Mr. John Paul Smith and Mrs. Elizabeth Marie Williams
request the pleasure of your company…
For married women, “Mrs.” is the proper title even if they did not take their spouse’s name.
One parent is deceased:
Mr. John Paul Smith
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of his daughter
Jennifer Anne Smith
daughter of the late Mrs. Elizabeth Williams Smith
to
Joseph Lee Jones
In the scenario where one parent is a widow/widower, it is perfectly acceptable to have just the living parent’s name in the host line. You may also honor the deceased parent by adding the line "the child of Mr. John Paul Smith and the late Mrs. Elizabeth Williams Smith" after the child’s name. It’s also acceptable to add the names of the parents of the other engaged child after the engaged child’s name as well.
Both host parents are deceased:
Jennifer Anne Smith
daughter of the late Mr. John Paul Smith and Mrs. Elizabeth Williams Smith
and
Joseph Lee Jones
Again, it's also acceptable to add the names of the parents of the other engaged child after the engaged child’s name so that all parents’ names are listed, living or deceased. It’s also acceptable to forgo the parents’ names and opt instead for “Together with their families.”
If one parent is a doctor:
Doctor Elizabeth Williams Smith and Mr. John Paul Smith (mother is the doctor)
OR Doctor and Mrs. John Paul Smith (father is the doctor)
request the pleasure of your company…
“Doctor” is the only title that should be spelled out.
If the hosting parents are same-sex and share a last name:
Mr. and Mr. John Paul Smith
request the pleasure of your company…
For same-sex hosts, names can be listed in alphabetical order by last name or in the order the couple prefers. Always include the titles “Ms., Mr., or Mx.” for the parents.
If the hosting parents are same-sex and do not share a last name:
Mr. Liam Floyd Adams and Mr. John Paul Smith
request the pleasure of your company…
For same-sex hosts, names can be listed in alphabetical order by last name or in the order the couple prefers. Always include the titles “Ms., Mr., or Mx.” for the parents.
If the couple is hosting, or if the couple and their families are hosting, or you wish to forgo the formalities of listing the names of every parent and remarried spouse:
Together with their families OR Together with their parents
Jennifer Anne Smith and Joseph Lee Jones
request the pleasure of your company…
Consider the option of using phrases like "Together with their families" or "Together with their parents" at the invitation's outset. This becomes especially practical when navigating complex family dynamics, such as divorces and separations, deaths, the choice of acknowledging the financiers of the wedding, or when you would simply like to opt for a less wordy invitation design.
“Together with their families” on a formal invitation
Request Line
The invitation request line is an opportunity to convey the tone of the celebration. It can range from formal to casual, depending on the venue (whether or not the ceremony takes place in a house of worship, for example) and the couple's preference.
If the venue is a house of worship:
request the honor of your presence
When getting married in a house of worship, the formality is to use the words “honor” (instead of “pleasure”) and “presence” (instead of “company”). Note, it is optional to have the letter “u” in “honour,” depending on your personal preference and style.
If the venue is not in a house of worship:
request the pleasure of your company
Note: you may swap out the words “honor” for “pleasure” and “presence” for “company” while maintaining a level of formality when not in a house of worship.
Other acceptable request line options:
"invite you to celebrate the marriage of"
"invite you to join in the celebration of their union"
"cordially invite you to share in their joy"
"at the marriage of their children" (this option precedes the couple’s names)
“invite you to share in the joy and celebration of their marriage”
“joyfully invite you to celebrate their union”
You may include the word “honor” even when the venue is not in a house of worship. Again, this is your invitation and you have the final say on the wording.
Couple’s Names
When it comes to including the couple's names on a wedding invitation, it's not as straightforward as one might think. Various formalities and scenarios must be considered to ensure that the wording is not only elegant but also respectful of different family structures. Let's explore different scenarios and provide examples to guide you through this nuanced aspect of wedding invitation etiquette.
Bride's Parents Hosting with Same Last Name:
Mr. and Mrs. John Paul Smith
request the pleasure of your company to celebrate the marriage of
Jennifer Anne and Joseph Lee Jones
If the bride shares the same last name as her parents, using only her first and middle names is appropriate, avoiding redundancy. It is up to personal preference to include her last name. I personally like including both last names of the couple. Alternatively, use both couple’s last names and no middle names if there isn’t enough space on the invitation.
Bride and Groom Hosting Themselves:
Jennifer Anne Smith and Joseph Lee Jones
joyfully invite you to celebrate their union
If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, both their full names are included, creating a more personal invitation.
Bride and Groom Hosting with Both Families:
Together with their families
Jennifer Anne Smith and Joseph Lee Jones
request the honor of your presence
When the couple and both families are hosting, it's a collaborative effort. Including both full names reflects unity and shared responsibility. If the invitation already includes the last names of the parents, you do not need to write out the couple's last names.
The Couple is Same-Sex or one Person is Non-Binary:
Together with their families
Ms. Jennifer Anne Smith and Ms. Kendall Jane Turner
request the honor of your presence
For same-sex couples, names can be listed in alphabetical order by last name or in the order the couple prefers. Include “Ms., Mr., or Mx.” an option, as including the titles gives the invitation a formal touch.
Date and Time
Traditionally, the date and time are spelled out for formal invitations. Omit the word “and” when spelling out the year. Capitalize the day and month, but keep the year in lowercase. Spell out “o’clock.”
For example:
Saturday, the twentieth of May
two thousand twenty-four
at four o'clock in the afternoon
If the ceremony is not on the hour:
3:45pm: at a quarter to four o'clock in the afternoon
4:15pm: at a quarter after four o'clock in the afternoon
4:30pm: at half after four o'clock in the afternoon
Use “half after” instead of “four thirty.” Including the phrases “in the afternoon” or “in the evening” is optional. Though if you are including it, keep in mind that evening begins at five o’clock.
Capitalize the day and month, but keep the year in lowercase, unless the entire section is in all caps.
Venue Details
Always include the name of the venue where the ceremony will take place. Whether it's a historic building, a charming garden, or a contemporary event space, the venue name is important to display. Spell out the city and state in full. While including the street address is optional, it can be beneficial for guests unfamiliar with the venue's location, and is recommended when the venue is a private residence, or if the ceremony and reception are at different venues. However, in formal invitations, the focus is on the venue's name, city, and state. Never include the zip code.
Example:
The Dunes Club
Narragansett, Rhode Island
If you choose not to include the street address on the main invitation, consider adding an enclosure card with additional details, such as a map or directions, for the convenience of your guests. A custom map is also a fun way to elevate your invitation suite and make it more personal.
An additional enclosure card, like a custom wedding map, is a great option when the ceremony is at a private residence or there are multiple venues for events throughout the wedding weekend.
Reception Information
If the reception is held in the same venue as the ceremony, then here are some options for the reception line of the invitation:
Reception to follow
Reception immediately following
Dinner and dancing to follow
Cocktails, dinner, and dancing to follow
If the reception is held at a different venue, a formal invitation suite may include a separate additional reception card. Alternatively, you may include the reception details on a separate line in the main invitation for a less formal option.
Dress Code (Optional line)
It’s optional to include the dress code on your invitation. Your invitation itself sets the tone for the occasion, and most couples add attire information on their wedding website next to the various wedding events that are happening during their wedding weekend. If you’d like to include the dress code in the main invitation card, it is customary to place it on the bottom right corner of the card. But it is acceptable to place it on the bottom center, as I have done occasionally for aesthetic reasons.
Here are some attire wording options, whether you place it on the invitation, on a separate details card, or just on your wedding website:
White Tie
Black Tie
Black Tie Preferred
Black Tie Optional
Formal Attire
Cocktail Attire
Beach Formal
Any other specific helpful attire information, such as “bring comfy shoes or none at all for our beach ceremony” should go in the wedding website details page and/or on a separate details card.
Wording Etiquette: Blending Tradition with Modernity
It's important to recognize that wedding invitation etiquette has evolved. Couples often choose to keep some traditional elements while embracing contemporary changes. Whether it's through unique wording or personalized touches, the goal is to create an invitation that resonates with the couple's style and story. Contact me and I will help you come up with the perfect wedding invitation wording that reflects your style and love you share for each other.
